If there is something I don't do enough of, it's saying "no". Far too often I am influenced to attempt more than I should. After all, I want to help. I want to contribute. I want to give my time. I want to help. I don't say "no" and I let people down as a result.
My capacity is not always proportionate to my desire to help. The desire to say " I can do that for you" backfires on me. At the end of the day, good intentions are gone and I am left with remnants of trust.
Just recently I have some commitments that I have to go back to friends with and revisit whether or not I have the capacity to deliver what they really need. I'm discouraged about letting them down. They put trust in me and my abilities and I foolishly accepted. When it would have been hard at the time to tell them no, now it's harder because I am obligated to help them work out of the situation they are in. Not saying no leaves me with regret. I have to clean that up.
I am still learning to say "No". I struggle with the excuses too. Instead of articulating it well, it comes out vary awkward. I just need to nail this. I just need to say "no". So I now apologize when I say no. I'm sorry, I'd love to help but I'm afraid I am not going to be able to give it the time it deserves. You'd be better off to find someone else. Saying no is probably more important than saying yes. At least for me.
Saying no is Hard.
Saying Yes is easy.
It's hart to say no if "everyone is doing it". It's hard to disagree with the masses. And its hard to say no when a friend asks you. But no is often the place where we stand our ground. It's how we define limits. No is the end. It's definitive and it's hard.
I'm not saying that we should always say no. But certainly we shouldn't always say yes. For me I say yes too often and it backfires. My suggestion is that if you are like me, check your capacity to deliver before you commit. and its okay to say no. It will be better for everyone in the end.
My capacity is not always proportionate to my desire to help. The desire to say " I can do that for you" backfires on me. At the end of the day, good intentions are gone and I am left with remnants of trust.
Just recently I have some commitments that I have to go back to friends with and revisit whether or not I have the capacity to deliver what they really need. I'm discouraged about letting them down. They put trust in me and my abilities and I foolishly accepted. When it would have been hard at the time to tell them no, now it's harder because I am obligated to help them work out of the situation they are in. Not saying no leaves me with regret. I have to clean that up.
I am still learning to say "No". I struggle with the excuses too. Instead of articulating it well, it comes out vary awkward. I just need to nail this. I just need to say "no". So I now apologize when I say no. I'm sorry, I'd love to help but I'm afraid I am not going to be able to give it the time it deserves. You'd be better off to find someone else. Saying no is probably more important than saying yes. At least for me.
Saying no is Hard.
Saying Yes is easy.
It's hart to say no if "everyone is doing it". It's hard to disagree with the masses. And its hard to say no when a friend asks you. But no is often the place where we stand our ground. It's how we define limits. No is the end. It's definitive and it's hard.
I'm not saying that we should always say no. But certainly we shouldn't always say yes. For me I say yes too often and it backfires. My suggestion is that if you are like me, check your capacity to deliver before you commit. and its okay to say no. It will be better for everyone in the end.
Good advice. I have the same problem.
No!
There, I feel better.