It occurred to me what bothers entrepreneurs on the "balance thing" (see previous post). It's guilt. They feel like there is a point where they have to turn off the thoughts of the business, they can't and it consumes them. So there is an accompanying guilt that starts spinning up. This guilt is fueled by a self dialog that goes like this; "I should be able to shut this off, but I can't."
I get that. It's as if you have no control. You don't own the business anymore. The business owns you. I'd like to speak to this issue from a few different perspectives, perhaps even radical perspectives.
1) Should you turn it off?
Seriously. Is it a foregone conclusion that the right thing for you in your circumstances is that you should turn it off? If your house was on fire and your family was inside, I would not expect you to walk away. If your factory is on fire you probably shouldn't walk away. I don't believe you should you necessarily walk away if there are problems to be dealt with. Avoidance won't necessarily help things improve and although absence makes the heart grow fonder, it doesn't apply to your business challenges. You need to deal with it.
2) Don't accept what you should or should not be able to do as true.
Even if you aren't faced with a problem right now, where does this notion come from that you should be able to turn it off? Can you disconnect your arm? Can you disconnect your brain? You are a whole person that lives in your life. I can't turn off who I am am. I am either the whole person or I am not. I don't live in rooms or compartments. When I am inspired to work on something or get the inspiration to solve a problem, I am thankful for it. When there is a big problem that must be solved, I commit my energy to it. It's my instinct that is telling me that I have to deal with this problem. I have to take care of it, it's what I am supposed to do.
As for me I don't want to "turn it off" until I am finished working on a problem just like I don't want to set a book down in the middle of a chapter. I want to close that section and I would suspect that if you are an Entrepreneur you are the same way. So work to bring closure for that chapter and then set it down. For me it helps to say, "I am going to finish __________ and then take a break". That allows me to close a chapter and create some definition.
3) Close the chapter by changing your perspective
I find that when I am dealing with issues that need to be solved, it's best to approach them from a different angle. For me going to a new coffee shop with a new pad of paper and a pen helps me review things from a new perspective. I usually can get down what I need to bring closure to the issue or at least get my plan of attack articulated so I can deal with it.
4) Don't solve the whole problem
If you are problem solving, break your problems into several pieces and address them one at a time. Articulate them carefully and make sure you got them all down on paper. Then address them one at a time. I find it also is best for me to come up with multiple approaches to solve the same problem so my solution is not dependent on only one way to solve it. Come up with Plan A, B, C, D and E and F even if you have to. Don't confuse panic with productivity. It doesn't work either. You can't solve all problems at all times. Pick the battle and address it with strategy.
5) Pick a method of waiting
When the solution is put in motion I find that lot's of waiting ensues. I have to wait for meetings to happen. Wait for decision makers to evaluate and deliberate. Wait for budget approvals. Wait for this and wait for that. Waiting is important and it is very real. Just like planting a seed, you have to wait. And when waiting you have to do something else. This waiting is where I see entrepreneurs spin out of control into worry. All I can advise on worry is that it's important to recognize what you are worried about and that you are worried, then move on. Pick a method of waiting. Pick something else to do. This is why I came up with my CEO to do list. It gives me things to do while I wait.
6) Communicate if you are worried
Communicate with those that are important to you. Share with them the reason you are consumed and that you need to deal with it. Communication allows them to understand. If you have a spouse that is not empathetic then I can't really offer advice on this one. I do know that isolation doesn't work. You need to let them know why you are stuck on something and why it's bugging you, even eating at you.
7) Take a nap, meditate, pray
Once I have written down something I need to let it germinate a bit. For me I nap, meditate and pray, not necessarily in that order. I think through the problem and the very components of it. It takes me time to think through each element and articulate it to myself and to articulate it in my prayers. I believe in prayer. I pray for inspiration. I meditate. I think. So when I am inspired with a potential way to solve a problem, I believe it may be an answer to prayer and I seek out that answer. When I can reflect on it calmly I feel better about being able to confront the challenges after my rest. It prepares me.
8) Pick something to do next
If you want to put it down for a while, pick something else to do. Passion that has no substitute leaves a void that can be upsetting or even depressing. If it's the energy that drives you, turning it off is not good without another driver. It's best to chose something else to do when you don't want to work anymore. Sounds simple, but it's true. Music, books, hobbies, family, movies, dinner out, whatever it is - pick something to do next.
9) What do you want to do?
Deciding deliberately what you want to do is a profound power that you have over your circumstances. Being able to say "I chose" to do this or that and getting it done will create value or detract value from your life. You are not trapped. You can put it down. You can walk away. You can quit. But do you want to? Being an entrepreneur is difficult because your choosing a tough road. You are creating something from nothing. You are investing everything you have. You are risking heavily. And for what purpose? What do you want to do?
If your priorities are such that work is the most important thing and most exciting thing than perhaps you shouldn't turn it off. Perhaps you are working on accomplishing something that you believe in it passionately. Perhaps you are working because you are trying to close a chapter. Perhaps you are trying to reach a goal in life.
10) What do you believe in?
So what do you believe in? What do you find strength in? Where does it come from? Acknowledge it. Choose to work. Choose your reasons. And when things get tough remember why you chose to do what you do. Remember who you are obligated to. Remember what it is you are living for. Remember whom you serve.
And if you don't know what you are living for, seek it out. I cannot express in words alone how important it is for me. I believe in a God that created me and I am supposed to chose to live my life in the best possible way. I am obligated to serve others. I am obligated to do good works. I must continue on.
It is what drives me. Call me a fanatic. Call me a nut. Call me whatever you want to, I don't care. I carry on and I carry on because I believe I am supposed to carry on.
In conclusion
I have a great appreciation for those people that can just turn off things. For those that have a job where they can clock out and go home. I am not that way. I am on the opposite side of the world. I try to bring my family along and experience some of it with me. I try and fail often to spend more time with them. And I have learned that just spending time doesn't mean that I am really there. If I am dealing with a storm, I can't leave the factory until it's secured. I have to take care of things. It's what I have to do.
And when things are taken care of, I have learned to depend on others. It's the team that allows me to go do other things, at work and at home. If I have a team I can count on, I can move on. When it's something I have to take care of, well; I have to take care of it.
I don't know your circumstance. Hopefully my perspective on things can help you deal with the guilt when you feel like you "should" be able to "turn it off" but can't.
I get that. It's as if you have no control. You don't own the business anymore. The business owns you. I'd like to speak to this issue from a few different perspectives, perhaps even radical perspectives.
1) Should you turn it off?
Seriously. Is it a foregone conclusion that the right thing for you in your circumstances is that you should turn it off? If your house was on fire and your family was inside, I would not expect you to walk away. If your factory is on fire you probably shouldn't walk away. I don't believe you should you necessarily walk away if there are problems to be dealt with. Avoidance won't necessarily help things improve and although absence makes the heart grow fonder, it doesn't apply to your business challenges. You need to deal with it.
2) Don't accept what you should or should not be able to do as true.
Even if you aren't faced with a problem right now, where does this notion come from that you should be able to turn it off? Can you disconnect your arm? Can you disconnect your brain? You are a whole person that lives in your life. I can't turn off who I am am. I am either the whole person or I am not. I don't live in rooms or compartments. When I am inspired to work on something or get the inspiration to solve a problem, I am thankful for it. When there is a big problem that must be solved, I commit my energy to it. It's my instinct that is telling me that I have to deal with this problem. I have to take care of it, it's what I am supposed to do.
As for me I don't want to "turn it off" until I am finished working on a problem just like I don't want to set a book down in the middle of a chapter. I want to close that section and I would suspect that if you are an Entrepreneur you are the same way. So work to bring closure for that chapter and then set it down. For me it helps to say, "I am going to finish __________ and then take a break". That allows me to close a chapter and create some definition.
3) Close the chapter by changing your perspective
I find that when I am dealing with issues that need to be solved, it's best to approach them from a different angle. For me going to a new coffee shop with a new pad of paper and a pen helps me review things from a new perspective. I usually can get down what I need to bring closure to the issue or at least get my plan of attack articulated so I can deal with it.
4) Don't solve the whole problem
If you are problem solving, break your problems into several pieces and address them one at a time. Articulate them carefully and make sure you got them all down on paper. Then address them one at a time. I find it also is best for me to come up with multiple approaches to solve the same problem so my solution is not dependent on only one way to solve it. Come up with Plan A, B, C, D and E and F even if you have to. Don't confuse panic with productivity. It doesn't work either. You can't solve all problems at all times. Pick the battle and address it with strategy.
5) Pick a method of waiting
When the solution is put in motion I find that lot's of waiting ensues. I have to wait for meetings to happen. Wait for decision makers to evaluate and deliberate. Wait for budget approvals. Wait for this and wait for that. Waiting is important and it is very real. Just like planting a seed, you have to wait. And when waiting you have to do something else. This waiting is where I see entrepreneurs spin out of control into worry. All I can advise on worry is that it's important to recognize what you are worried about and that you are worried, then move on. Pick a method of waiting. Pick something else to do. This is why I came up with my CEO to do list. It gives me things to do while I wait.
6) Communicate if you are worried
Communicate with those that are important to you. Share with them the reason you are consumed and that you need to deal with it. Communication allows them to understand. If you have a spouse that is not empathetic then I can't really offer advice on this one. I do know that isolation doesn't work. You need to let them know why you are stuck on something and why it's bugging you, even eating at you.
7) Take a nap, meditate, pray
Once I have written down something I need to let it germinate a bit. For me I nap, meditate and pray, not necessarily in that order. I think through the problem and the very components of it. It takes me time to think through each element and articulate it to myself and to articulate it in my prayers. I believe in prayer. I pray for inspiration. I meditate. I think. So when I am inspired with a potential way to solve a problem, I believe it may be an answer to prayer and I seek out that answer. When I can reflect on it calmly I feel better about being able to confront the challenges after my rest. It prepares me.
8) Pick something to do next
If you want to put it down for a while, pick something else to do. Passion that has no substitute leaves a void that can be upsetting or even depressing. If it's the energy that drives you, turning it off is not good without another driver. It's best to chose something else to do when you don't want to work anymore. Sounds simple, but it's true. Music, books, hobbies, family, movies, dinner out, whatever it is - pick something to do next.
9) What do you want to do?
Deciding deliberately what you want to do is a profound power that you have over your circumstances. Being able to say "I chose" to do this or that and getting it done will create value or detract value from your life. You are not trapped. You can put it down. You can walk away. You can quit. But do you want to? Being an entrepreneur is difficult because your choosing a tough road. You are creating something from nothing. You are investing everything you have. You are risking heavily. And for what purpose? What do you want to do?
If your priorities are such that work is the most important thing and most exciting thing than perhaps you shouldn't turn it off. Perhaps you are working on accomplishing something that you believe in it passionately. Perhaps you are working because you are trying to close a chapter. Perhaps you are trying to reach a goal in life.
10) What do you believe in?
So what do you believe in? What do you find strength in? Where does it come from? Acknowledge it. Choose to work. Choose your reasons. And when things get tough remember why you chose to do what you do. Remember who you are obligated to. Remember what it is you are living for. Remember whom you serve.
And if you don't know what you are living for, seek it out. I cannot express in words alone how important it is for me. I believe in a God that created me and I am supposed to chose to live my life in the best possible way. I am obligated to serve others. I am obligated to do good works. I must continue on.
It is what drives me. Call me a fanatic. Call me a nut. Call me whatever you want to, I don't care. I carry on and I carry on because I believe I am supposed to carry on.
In conclusion
I have a great appreciation for those people that can just turn off things. For those that have a job where they can clock out and go home. I am not that way. I am on the opposite side of the world. I try to bring my family along and experience some of it with me. I try and fail often to spend more time with them. And I have learned that just spending time doesn't mean that I am really there. If I am dealing with a storm, I can't leave the factory until it's secured. I have to take care of things. It's what I have to do.
And when things are taken care of, I have learned to depend on others. It's the team that allows me to go do other things, at work and at home. If I have a team I can count on, I can move on. When it's something I have to take care of, well; I have to take care of it.
I don't know your circumstance. Hopefully my perspective on things can help you deal with the guilt when you feel like you "should" be able to "turn it off" but can't.
yes - it's guilt
Good post! I struggle with feeling guilty too.